Solo Travellers
I Chose Solo Travel Over Motherhood; Did I Make the Right Decision?
On most Sundays, I walk to the beach in Playa del Carmen, Mexico, with a papaya, blackberry, and banana fruit bowl packed in my bag. After a couple of hours of sun, sand, and salt water, I go home, shower, and call my dad.
Our conversations are usually quick and light: How’s life? How’s business? What’s for dinner?
But one recent Sunday, my 70-year-old father shifted gears. He wanted to discuss his end-of-life wishes: burial plans, the house, and the family heirlooms. It wasn’t a sad conversation, just practical.
Still, after we hung up, I panicked. My father is my last close relative. When he’s gone, I won’t just grieve him. I’ll be facing the full weight of being alone in the life I happily created.
I built a solo life abroad
I’ve lived abroad since 2018, traveling solo through 10 countries with an overstuffed backpack and a duffel bag of prized possessions. I originally planned a three-month trip to Thailand to reset my life, but it turned into something bigger.
Artur Widak/NurPhoto via Getty Images
This wasn’t my first adventure abroad. In my early 20s, I joined the Peace Corps and served in Togo, West Africa, where I met my now ex-husband. I always held a vision of us traveling throughout Africa together with a kid or two in tow, but the marriage ended after eight years. I met another gentleman who also promised me that one day we’d travel the world together. After five years, I had to face the fact that it would never come to pass.
At 40, I was still single and childless, so I chose myself. I moved abroad and haven’t stopped traveling since — building a life I love.
No amount of freedom prepared me for this new kind of fear
I believed for years that building a life abroad that was full of sunrises on new beaches and friendships across cultures would be enough to last the rest of my life. And it was, until that Sunday call.
My dad’s casual conversation about mortality rattled me. His voice has always been an anchor, a living thread connecting me to my roots. The thought of losing him triggered something deeper: Who would care for me when he’s gone? Who will be in my corner when I need help? Who would remember my birthday without a Facebook reminder?
I realized something more sobering: The chosen families and vibrant friendships I’ve built abroad may not be the ones at my side when it’s my time for me to pass on.
It’s not about regret. I don’t regret choosing freedom, travel, or a child-free life. I’m grateful for the woman I’ve become. But facing the eventual loss of my father marks a new chapter in my life, one in which I understand that I need to create an even stronger root system for myself.
Now I’m creating a new vision for the future
Since that conversation, I’ve started reimagining my future.
Instead of drifting from place to place, I’m laying foundations for something more permanent. I’ve set my sights on San Miguel de Allende, a colorful artists’ town in central Mexico known for its creative energy and strong community ties.
Apolline Guillerot-Malick/SOPA Images/LightRocket via Getty Images
I dream of buying a Spanish colonial home where I store my collection of medicinal herbs in the kitchen, have my favorite cookbooks and travel memoirs in the living room, and host dinner parties around the wood-fired pizza oven in the back. Having a home will help me build deeper relationships that extend beyond passing travel companions.
I’m also dedicated to improving my Spanish so I can truly connect with neighbors, not just wave hello from across the street. I want to be invited to family dinners and become part of the local fabric — not just a visitor passing through.
This moment isn’t about fear overtaking my life or regretting my decisions because I’m proud of the solo life I’ve built. Rather, it’s about choosing to live more intentionally than I ever have before.
Now, as I approach 50, I’m learning that choosing freedom also means choosing to anchor myself in new ways. The next chapter of my life won’t be about wandering; it will be about belonging.
Halona Black is a memoir coach and freelance journalist who writes about food, travel, well-being, and spirituality. She can be reached on LinkedIn.
Solo Travellers
Ruth Orkin’s girl and the gauntlet
For decades people have speculated about this image: American Girl in Italy, by the great US photographer Ruth Orkin. On Florence’s Piazza della Repubblica in 1951, a tall young woman in a black dress walks the gauntlet between clusters of suit-wearing men. A few of them are leering at her. One man grabs his crotch, his lips pursed around some presumably unprintable utterance. Almost all of them are following her with their eyes. The woman’s face is hard to read, though she seems aggrieved by the attention – if not outright fearful for her safety.
In fact, according to the woman herself, Ninalee Allen Craig, there was something altogether more playful going on – though she insisted, to counter another assumption, that the photograph wasn’t staged. Craig, 23 at the time, was travelling around Europe when she encountered Orkin, who was staying at the same dollar-a-night hotel as her in Florence. The two women shared notes on solo travel and Orkin proposed a photo essay on the subject.
The next day they jaunted around the city, Orkin snapping the younger woman as she gazed at statues, chatted across café tables and rode shotgun in an open-top sports car.
At the Piazza della Repubblica, Orkin asked Allen to walk the gauntlet twice. The first time, Allen “clutched at herself and looked terribly frightened”, Orkin recalled in 1979. “I told her to walk by the second time, ‘as if it’s killing you but you’re going to make it’” – and that’s the shot that was used.
Allen’s memory of the scene was much sunnier. “I was having the time of my life,” she told CNN in 2017, the year before she died aged 90. “I was Beatrice walking through the streets of Florence.” In an interview with the Guardian she said the image “has been interpreted in a sinister way but it was quite the opposite. [The men] were having fun and so was I.”
Orkin’s photographs of Allen were published in Cosmopolitan in 1952. The article, featuring tips on “money, men and morals to see you through a gay trip and a safe one”, was entitled Don’t Be Afraid to Travel Alone.
New York – New York, a show of photographs by Ruth Orkin, will be at CDIS / PhotoEspaña in Santander from 18 July to 18 October
Solo Travellers
10 Countries With the Best Work-Life Balance
Stressed about your office commute? Burnt out from long weeks at your desk? Maybe you need to move to one of the best countries for work-life balance. Remote, a global HR platform used by some of the world’s largest brands, has studied the working culture of the 60 highest-GDP nations around the world, to highlight countries that seemingly get it right when it comes to a healthy “life-work” balance. While you’re more likely to see the term styled as “work-life balance,” the stylistic choice reflects Remote’s view that this is a miscalculation: “The attitude should be life first, work second.”
Remote’s study factors in statutory annual leave, minimum statutory sick pay percentage, paid maternity leave and payment rate, minimum wage, healthcare system, happiness index, average hours worked per week, and LGBTQ+ inclusivity. Below are the 10 countries in the world right now that perfectly strike the balance between life and work.
A version of this article originally appeared on Condé Nast Traveller UK. For the full list of results, visit remote.com.
Solo Travellers
‘No computers, just outdoor fun’: readers’ favourite family nature trips | Family holidays
Winning tip: meadow birdsong by the beach in Pembrokeshire
For 28 years we have been going to West Hook Farm in Marloes, Pembrokeshire, to camp. The farm has some lovely showers and toilets, and nothing else apart from beautiful fields full of meadow grass. The swifts and swallows dart along the top of the grass to eat bugs at dawn and dusk. All day long you can hear beautiful birdsong from birds such as skylarks. The fields run alongside the beautiful coastal path, which has a hedgerow full of wildflowers and birds. This is the most beautiful place on Earth (when it isn’t raining). The numerous beaches are full of soft white sands. Our children have grown up playing free in the fields on their yearly holiday – no computers, just outdoor fun.
Em
Hiking a Highlands mountain
For a true taste of the Scottish Highlands, head to Ballater and hike the 1,155-metre (3,789 ft) peak of Lochnagar in the Grampians. The trail winds through pine forests and open moorland, the air crisp and alive. Be ready for the weather to change like pages in a book: sunshine, sudden rain, a flurry of snow on the summit, then blue skies again. On the way down, slip into the river, its water sharp as ice. Pack layers, bring snacks and take your time. It’s a walk that stays with you long after you leave the mountain behind.
Eva
Walking the Cotswold Way – inspired by Laurie Lee
After a family reading of Laurie Lee’s As I Walked Out One Midsummer Morning, my husband and I decided our two teens were ready to try a walking holiday in the Cotswolds. We set out with backpacks and a tent on the Cotswold Way, starting just outside lively Chipping Campden and ending in Bath. Mobiles were limited to an hour a day in the evening and we did 10 miles a day – covering the walk in 10 days. We felt we were a part of a community of walkers as fellow hikers greeted us in passing, sharing drinks and tips with us along the way. We also learned about the Japanese idea of shinrin-yoku – feeling free in nature under the canopy of trees, sky and stars – from a family from Tokyo. We returned fitter, more together and happier than when we set out.
Ann
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Guardian Travel readers’ tips
Every week we ask our readers for recommendations from their travels. A selection of tips will be featured online and may appear in print. To enter the latest competition visit the readers’ tips homepage
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Forests and folklore in the Carpathians
Following a brilliant solo back-to-nature trip to the Carpathian mountains in Romania two years ago, I talked my two teenage boys into a family repeat earlier this summer – dangling the carrot of a trip to Count Dracula’s castle. In fact I only needed some minor encouragement from the vampire; the area itself was my ally. The forests, flanked by brooding mountains, were exciting to hike through anyway (with the help of a local guide), with the presence of brown bears, wolves and lynx adding to the thrills as we marched along. We came across medieval towns and villages that are rich in traditional folklore. One highlight was sampling local cheese and singing songs with villagers in the Bârza valley. The boys were rewarded with a ride on a horse-drawn cart to the next village, near Dracula’s alleged abode – Bran Castle. Don’t miss the stiff climb up to Postăvarul peak (1,799 metres) for great views over the area.
Joe
Where Austria’s hills are alive
Salzkammergut is the Austrian lake district. Lush meadows, forests and blue-green lakes make for endless days of swimming, biking and lying in the sun. No wonder that The Sound of Music was filmed here. Wolfgangsee has well-marked bike trails and opportunities to swim, alongside cafes serving delicious kaiserschmarrn (fluffy pancakes) and schnitzel. The nearby Fuschlsee has an incredible water park right by the lake: swimming pools, slides and plenty of quiet water in which to swim. It’s excellent entertainment for the entire family. We stayed in the newly renovated Feichtingerbauer, which offers complimentary access to the Fuschlseebad.
Neha
Paddleboarding in County Derry
By the end of the summer in 2021 we were at the end of our tether due to lockdowns and the lack of socialising opportunities. The kids had never been so quiet. My good friend Bob insisted we join his family at Swanns Bridge in County Derry for a paddleboard trip. Swanns Bridge is only a few minutes’ drive from the Atlantic beaches of Benone, but it makes use of the River Roe, rather than the ocean. After 20 minutes of trying to stay upright, something happened. For the first time in over a year we were distracted by something positive and by the beauty of the Roe. The only sound was water (mostly me falling in) and laughter. We’ve gone back since to be distracted for different reasons. It still works.
Kieran
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Trigbagging in the Peak District
Try trigbagging with the kids. Be it a weekend in the Peak District or Monday to Friday in the Lake District, it doesn’t have to cost a lot. You can pitch a tent in a campsite or get cheap accommodation in a youth hostel. My kids love scrambling up the hills, paddling in the streams that flow down them, spotting the ground-nesting birds, and tucking into the snacks that come with hiking. It teaches them so much about nature and personal safety, as well as about how quickly the weather can change in such places.
Rebecca
Searching for buried treasure on Ynys Môn (Anglesey)
Our best back-to-nature day out? A spontaneous treasure hunt through the dunes of Newborough beach on Ynys Môn (Anglesey). There’s no admission fee needed – just a hand-drawn pirate map, a flask of lemonade and plenty of imagination. The kids darted between marram grass and shoreline, hunting for shells and “buried treasure” (a biscuit tin full of sweets we’d hidden earlier). With views of Llanddwyn Island and a picnic under the pines, it was low-stress, big-memory magic. Just bring snacks, suncream and a good sense of adventure!
Robert Serebriakoff
Car-free and carefree on the Isle of Arran
We had a lovely summer holiday staying on a farm on the Isle of Arran. It’s the perfect car-free holiday for families, with a very easy train ride from Glasgow to the harbour [at the mainland ferry port of Ardrossan]. We stayed on the organic farm, picking our own fruit and veg then cooking it on our camping stove on the beach. The accommodation is right on the beach and on our first morning we stepped out and saw an enormous pod of dolphins. Our days were spent walking up and down the beach playing in rock pools. Absolute heaven! The owner of the farm, who used to work in a Michelin-starred restaurant, cooks fresh lobster and seafood most nights. You can watch him and his daughter going out on their kayak to make their daily catch.
Gemma
Rockpooling in East Sussex
One of our favourite trips out in nature is to the beach at Seven Sisters, East Sussex. The walk to get there is lovely – it’s flat and a good size for our boys to ride their bikes along. It’s beautiful, with the cliffs and rivers winding along, and there’s even a little empty building to look inside, which is very exciting for small children. When at the beach, there is so much to do, including wading across the part where the river joins the sea with a pretty decent current; rock pooling in crystal-clear waters; and, on a good day, there’s the sludgy sand to get filthy in! Bonus fun is had by watching walkers wade across the river to get to the cliffs, teetering on the painful rocks, as they don’t want to get their walking shoes wet; or by finding crabs in the rock pools; and seeing little islands made as the tide goes in and out. It’s extra fun if you win the competition to find the most interesting stone or find some treasured sea glass. Chalk is fun too, but common enough not to count as an entry into the competition.
Lauren
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