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How Solo Travel Allowed Me to Define Myself

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As solo travel goes mainstream, has it lost its transformative edge? Veteran traveler and writer Ani Payumo reflects on how the journey has changed, and what that means.

This morning, while scrolling through my phone, I came across these posts on social media:

“I am a solo traveler who just returned from Australia. I love hiking, music, and history. I’d welcome like-minded travel buddies on my next trip.” – in a FB group chat for solo travelers

“Eager to see the world but nervous to travel alone? Come with me. We plan epic trips with a diverse group of solo travelers. We’ll meet as strangers but quickly become friends.” – an IG travel influencer 

“I am traveling solo in Amsterdam. Any good recommendations?” – another IG influencer

Every day, I see similar posts that give me pause. They hint at a significant shift in solo travel, one that, for an old hand like me, is making me go “hmmm.” I started solo traveling at the turn of the century, when after a solo trip to Madrid with the goal of learning Spanish, I learned, not Spanish, but a love for the solo flight. Since then, I promised myself a solo birthday trip every year. Most years, I gifted myself more than one. I never bothered keeping count, but doing the rough math and thinking back on my journeys, I must have at least 30 solo trips to my name.

When I first started, solo travel was considered strange and dangerous behavior. Solo travelers were an anomaly. Restaurants didn’t know what to do with us so they seated us at the back tables. Other travelers threw us pitying looks. Apps like Uber, Google Maps, and Google Translate did not exist. Neither did Opentable and Tripadvisor. I lugged around at least two guide books to every destination. I had to learn to speak, at the very minimum, the essentials of the language; and I had to learn to read physical road and public transportation maps. I also had to learn to strike up conversations with strangers, to eat in silence (I never learned to eat with a book), and to make do with the limited restaurant choices in travel guides or take risks. In short, solo travel meant preparing hard, and if the hard preparations didn’t work, learning to flow.

I watched the solo travel landscape transform through the decades. From an “odd hobby” pursued by an intrepid few, it started to bloom after the publication of Liz Gilbert’s Eat Pray Love in the 2000s. I found myself fighting for slots in yoga retreats against a wave of women doing their own “Eat Pray Love” tours. 

In the 2010s, Instagrammers and Youtubers shared their travel experiences in real time, further normalizing solo travel. And very recently since the pandemic, with remote work permitting freedom of location, solo travel has exploded. The 500-billion-dollar industry continues to grow at 15 percent annually and is expected to reach one trillion dollars in a mere five years.

Solo travel is a fundamental part of who I am. I might even dare say that I am who I am because of it. It has taught me to trust my inner chatter, to stay with discomfort, and to dance through rhythm interruptions. I once found myself stranded at sunset in the small town of Poggibonsi, in the middle of the Tuscan vineyards. I had missed the last connecting bus to San Gimignano from Florence. Hotel and transportation apps were non-existent at that time. Before I could enter a full meltdown, a rickety old car sputtered into the scene and stopped in front of the bus stop where I was stranded. An equally rickety old man stepped out, lit a cigarette and stretched his legs. I knew he was my only hope. After a few puffs, barely enough time for me to gather my courage and my Italian, he extinguished the rest of his cigarette and made his way to his car. I jumped at him, threw him my story in unconjugated verbs, and a minute later, found myself hitchhiking to San Gimignano. From that moment, I was invincible.

This is the beauty of solo travel. It is meant to yank us from our routines, make us uncomfortable, and shift our inner terrain. These events stir ripples of thought and emotion that typically go unnoticed in the presence of friends: nostalgia, anxiety, loneliness, fear, excitement, curiosity. It is these moments of raw experience that rouse latent aspects of ourselves, and give us the chance to witness them clearly without the bias of our companions. If we pay attention to these natural inclinations and take the time to understand what they reveal, we go home from our journeys having made an even more valuable inner journey. These could lead to profound life transformations, which for me, is the real gift of solo travel.  

Which brings me back to my morning musings.

The benefits of solo travel are now universally recognized. Solo travel has become mainstream, and solo travelers are everywhere: in cafes, in hotels. They journey separately, but side-by-side, enjoying safety in numbers. They no longer need to suffer pitying looks; they’ve become the cool kids. Through their phones, they are connected at any moment to the worlds they left behind. The travel industry caters to them, offering highly curated itineraries, meeting their existing tastes, and ensuring that they are comfortable, happy, safe, and mingling with like-minded travelers. In short, the rough edges of solo travel have been softened. The valuable ripples of new thought that are borne out of hard, non-quotidian, solitary moments have been muted. The success of solo travel has diluted the very essence that makes solo travel a transformative force.

I confess I have benefited from this softening; Hotel and restaurant reviews help me make my choices, apps tell me how to get from point A to point B with exact time schedules, group chats with friends and family at home keep me from loneliness. Traveling solo has become so effortless, so comfortable, and so… un-solo. In fact, tethered to our phones, true solo travel (in the turn-of-the-century sense) is quickly becoming a thing of the past. For first-time solo travelers, this is a marvelous thing. There is no reason to be afraid. For the old-timers, however, will we need to travel further and wider to find life-changing discomfort and solitude, or will we need to find other avenues of self-reflection in a more interconnected world? 

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Travel Tips: ‘Takes me right back’ The holiday souvenir ritual travel writer never skips | Exclusive

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Every week, 9Travel shares a top travel tip from our readers or our writers. Have something to share? Email us at travel@nine.com.au for a chance to be featured in an upcoming story.

I can still recall the anticipation of dropping it off, waiting around a week, and returning to the shop, clutching my paper ticket.

It was something I did after every holiday, whether I’d been to the Costa Del Sol, Tenerife or Corfu (all popular beach spots for Brits in the 1990s).

I am, of course, talking about getting my photos developed.

Before mobile phones were invented, you’d take a camera on holiday. (Getty)

For those born after 2000, let me explain. Before mobile phones were invented, you’d take a camera on holiday. One of those old ones you might have seen on the Antiques Roadshow, which used film.

Sometimes you’d buy a “disposable” one, which could only be used once so you didn’t ruin your real camera by spilling cocktails on it, or the like.

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And you’d gleefully spend your week snapping photos…. but only 24, because that’s how many one reel of film allowed.

The camera had a tiny viewfinder you had to squint through. And after you got home, you took that film to a shop to be developed.

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Me and my mum on holiday in Venice. (Supplied)

About a week later (getting the 24-hour turnaround was always too expensive) you’d be handed a thick wallet of photos.

You’d also get the negatives, which you’d need to carefully go through, holding only the edges, to find any shots you wanted to ‘blow up’ for your bedroom wall.

Then, you’d get to relive your holiday all over again via the glossy prints.

Sometimes though, they would come back with stickers slapped on them saying they were “overexposed”, which I always found pretty rude.

I recently dug some of those old photos out. My favourite was one of my mum and I with a pelican (I’d never seen one, okay) in front of a random old car in Cyprus circa 1993.

We were very excited to see this pelican as this holiday photo shows. (Supplied)

I even recall taking my holiday pics in to show my school teachers (geek!).

But taking photos on holiday and actually getting them printed out has gone the way of the postcard. Hardly anybody does it anymore (except, perhaps, 9Travel editor Kristine).

We just snap, upload some on social media to show off where we are, and forget the rest.

What to do instead

A few years ago I decided to pull my holiday pics off the internet and into real life – so, after every trip, I now make a photo book.

I create it online and it’s mailed to me, so I don’t even need to leave the house. And I now have a hardback book filled with photos from each of our trips over the past five or so years.

I get all my holiday snaps make into a photo book. (Supplied)

Every so often I’ll look at them.

They take me back to that time we saw the six toed cats at Ernest Hemingway’s house, or decided to stop outside Barry Manilow’s house in Palm Springs.

I just received my latest, and flicking through it takes me right back to the South African plains, for a brief moment.

They’re also great if you want to force people to look at your holiday photos, and I don’t think you can get that scrolling on Instagram.

Drop us an email with all your wisdom to travel@nine.com.au, and your tip could be featured in an upcoming story on 9Travel.

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Nat Locke: I’m here to dispel the myth that you have to be brave to do solo travel — you absolutely do not

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Last week, I travelled around Turkey (after they finally issued me that eVisa) in the company of three English people. We were all doing a small group tour, and as it turned out, we were all solo travellers, thrown together in the back of a minibus.

One was a retired dentist from London who had already taken 46 trips with this particular tour company and has been to just about everywhere you can think of. His wife is not as keen on travelling, so stays home while he gallivants around. It works for them.

Another was an almost retired accountant from London who was also very well-travelled. He had a plethora of stories about tropical parasites (don’t google botfly larvae, whatever you do), and has planned a trip a month for the next year.

And then there was the nurse from the south of England who was on her first ever solo trip at the ripe old age of 48.

As a first-time solo traveller, she was a bit nervous about how she would go. Her main concerns seemed to be about whether she would get along with her fellow travellers (she did), and whether she would miss having a buddy to have a sneaky gin and tonic with in the evening or dinner with if there were no organised meals on a given night (she didn’t).

It turns out her fears were thoroughly unfounded. The four of us — unlikely friends on paper — got along famously. We laughed our way around Turkey, sipped G&T’s in the long evenings, went shopping together, signed up for hot air ballooning together and helped one another when someone fell over (the retired dentist, not me for once).

My new nursing friend is not the first person to be spooked by travelling on their own. Whenever I post about my trips on Instagram, I get private messages from people telling me how brave I am to go on solo adventures and suggesting that they can’t imagine feeling confident enough to do it themselves.

So, I’m here to dispel the myth that you have to be brave to do this. You absolutely do not. You just have to have a plan. And you have to be prepared to enjoy it more than you could imagine.

The joys of travelling on your own are that you can do exactly what you want to do at any given time.

If you want to sleep in one day, you can, without upsetting someone who wants to get up and about at sunrise. If you want to sit in a cafe watching the world go by for half the day, rather than traipse around a motorcycle museum, you absolutely can. If you want to eat baklava in bed instead of going out to dinner, oh boy, can you. You are utterly free to do whatever you want which is a very liberating feeling.

But similarly, if you are the sort of person who likes the company of other people, there are so many ways to achieve it, even when travelling solo. Small group tours have been an amazing way for me to connect with fellow like-minded people and have the safety of a tour leader with some inside knowledge, especially when I’m going to a place I’ve never been to before, or where there’s a significant language barrier.

When I’m not with a tour group, though, I like to seek out activities to keep me busy and to have the opportunity to meet and chat to other people. In Istanbul, I did a food tour where it turned out I was the only person on the tour, so I got a private experience where my guide took me to a bunch of her favourite spots and by the end of it, we felt like old friends. I also signed up for a perfume making workshop because, why not?

In Vietnam, I did a leatherwork class where I made my own coin purse, and a lantern making workshop. In a small town in Italy, I went on an ebike tour of the surrounding countryside.

In Florence, I learned how to appreciate aperitivo hour and in LA, I toured the Farmers Market with an enthusiastic woman named Jodie who loudly proclaimed to every vendor that “NATALIE’S ON THE RADIO” which was both mortifying and hilarious.

The reality is that if I was travelling with a group of friends, I never would have done any of these things because there’s no way we could have all agreed on any given activity.

Travelling solo forces you to try new things, to smile at strangers, to ask for directions, and to do whatever the hell you want. And I really, really like it.

Now excuse me, but I’m off to a Turkish bath house, because I can.



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Trekking Costa Rica's last wild frontier

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How Costa Rica is showing the world how to protect its wild places



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