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I Was Forced Into My First Solo Trip When My Friend Left Me in Paris

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In my 20s, I traveled with friends all over the globe, from Oktoberfest in Germany to the Bedouin Tents in Israel. Now that I’m 33 and most of my friends are married (some with kids), I’ve found myself booking fewer flights.

So, last year, when I scored two tickets to see Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour in France, I hoped I could convince someone to come with me. Going alone briefly crossed my mind, but solo travel felt out of my comfort zone, and I was worried that I wouldn’t have as much fun that way.

So, I ended up booking a weeklong trip to Paris and Lyon with a friend from work who I’d known for almost a decade.

At the time, I was just happy that I wouldn’t have to go by myself. Looking back, I had the wrong priorities.

The truth is, not all friends work well together as travel companions

I leaned into dining alone, which meant I could eat wherever and whenever I wanted.

Rebecca Shinners



Before the trip, my friend and I struggled to get on the same page about choosing hotels and agreeing on an itinerary.

Our problems continued as we left for Paris. As she complained about our flight, I felt drained by her negativity. When we arrived, I marveled at a rainbow over the Seine River as she appeared to be answering work emails on her phone.

Tensions felt high, and I worried we might not be very compatible travel partners — but I figured we’d both feel better by day two and ready to continue exploring.

Instead, that was the last day we spent together on the trip. The next morning, she texted me to head out for the day without her.

I took myself on a walking tour from the Eiffel Tower to the Palais-Royal. I should have been excited to cross off bucket-list items, but instead, something felt off.

Later, she let me know that she would be flying home to New York City, leaving me to unexpectedly continue the trip by myself.

Although I was scared of being alone in a foreign country, I embraced it

For a long time, the thought of being by myself in a foreign country (especially one where I don’t speak the language) made me feel anxious and afraid.

However, instead of feeling completely terrified when she left, I mostly felt relieved. The tension was gone, and I no longer had to worry about someone else.

Determined not to let being ditched ruin my experience, I changed our original itinerary to be one entirely on my own terms with excursions I wanted to do most.

As an extrovert who is energized by others, I worried that I wouldn’t have as much fun in Paris by myself. However, I realized I didn’t need to share an experience to value it. It was impossible not to enjoy visiting places I’d dreamt of seeing for years.

I continued on from Paris to Lyon alone and even went to see the Eras Tour solo. As I navigated public transit and city streets on my own, I felt strong, confident, and like I could truly do anything.

This experience gave me more confidence to take on the world alone

After exploring Paris and Lyon by myself, I feel empowered to do more solo travel.

Rebecca Shinners



As it turns out, getting ditched in a foreign country may be the best thing that could’ve happened to me.

Being suddenly pushed into solo travel showed me that I’m capable of something I was originally afraid of even trying out. This realization has empowered me to travel more without waiting around for anyone else.

Plus, I’ve come to appreciate how traveling solo means setting your own schedule and making your own decisions without having to accommodate anyone else’s needs.

I hope to travel to Europe by myself again this year, and I’m even considering booking a longer stay.

As for this trip? My only regret is not booking it solo in the first place.





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Travel Tips: ‘Takes me right back’ The holiday souvenir ritual travel writer never skips | Exclusive

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Every week, 9Travel shares a top travel tip from our readers or our writers. Have something to share? Email us at travel@nine.com.au for a chance to be featured in an upcoming story.

I can still recall the anticipation of dropping it off, waiting around a week, and returning to the shop, clutching my paper ticket.

It was something I did after every holiday, whether I’d been to the Costa Del Sol, Tenerife or Corfu (all popular beach spots for Brits in the 1990s).

I am, of course, talking about getting my photos developed.

Before mobile phones were invented, you’d take a camera on holiday. (Getty)

For those born after 2000, let me explain. Before mobile phones were invented, you’d take a camera on holiday. One of those old ones you might have seen on the Antiques Roadshow, which used film.

Sometimes you’d buy a “disposable” one, which could only be used once so you didn’t ruin your real camera by spilling cocktails on it, or the like.

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And you’d gleefully spend your week snapping photos…. but only 24, because that’s how many one reel of film allowed.

The camera had a tiny viewfinder you had to squint through. And after you got home, you took that film to a shop to be developed.

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Me and my mum on holiday in Venice. (Supplied)

About a week later (getting the 24-hour turnaround was always too expensive) you’d be handed a thick wallet of photos.

You’d also get the negatives, which you’d need to carefully go through, holding only the edges, to find any shots you wanted to ‘blow up’ for your bedroom wall.

Then, you’d get to relive your holiday all over again via the glossy prints.

Sometimes though, they would come back with stickers slapped on them saying they were “overexposed”, which I always found pretty rude.

I recently dug some of those old photos out. My favourite was one of my mum and I with a pelican (I’d never seen one, okay) in front of a random old car in Cyprus circa 1993.

We were very excited to see this pelican as this holiday photo shows. (Supplied)

I even recall taking my holiday pics in to show my school teachers (geek!).

But taking photos on holiday and actually getting them printed out has gone the way of the postcard. Hardly anybody does it anymore (except, perhaps, 9Travel editor Kristine).

We just snap, upload some on social media to show off where we are, and forget the rest.

What to do instead

A few years ago I decided to pull my holiday pics off the internet and into real life – so, after every trip, I now make a photo book.

I create it online and it’s mailed to me, so I don’t even need to leave the house. And I now have a hardback book filled with photos from each of our trips over the past five or so years.

I get all my holiday snaps make into a photo book. (Supplied)

Every so often I’ll look at them.

They take me back to that time we saw the six toed cats at Ernest Hemingway’s house, or decided to stop outside Barry Manilow’s house in Palm Springs.

I just received my latest, and flicking through it takes me right back to the South African plains, for a brief moment.

They’re also great if you want to force people to look at your holiday photos, and I don’t think you can get that scrolling on Instagram.

Drop us an email with all your wisdom to travel@nine.com.au, and your tip could be featured in an upcoming story on 9Travel.

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Nat Locke: I’m here to dispel the myth that you have to be brave to do solo travel — you absolutely do not

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Last week, I travelled around Turkey (after they finally issued me that eVisa) in the company of three English people. We were all doing a small group tour, and as it turned out, we were all solo travellers, thrown together in the back of a minibus.

One was a retired dentist from London who had already taken 46 trips with this particular tour company and has been to just about everywhere you can think of. His wife is not as keen on travelling, so stays home while he gallivants around. It works for them.

Another was an almost retired accountant from London who was also very well-travelled. He had a plethora of stories about tropical parasites (don’t google botfly larvae, whatever you do), and has planned a trip a month for the next year.

And then there was the nurse from the south of England who was on her first ever solo trip at the ripe old age of 48.

As a first-time solo traveller, she was a bit nervous about how she would go. Her main concerns seemed to be about whether she would get along with her fellow travellers (she did), and whether she would miss having a buddy to have a sneaky gin and tonic with in the evening or dinner with if there were no organised meals on a given night (she didn’t).

It turns out her fears were thoroughly unfounded. The four of us — unlikely friends on paper — got along famously. We laughed our way around Turkey, sipped G&T’s in the long evenings, went shopping together, signed up for hot air ballooning together and helped one another when someone fell over (the retired dentist, not me for once).

My new nursing friend is not the first person to be spooked by travelling on their own. Whenever I post about my trips on Instagram, I get private messages from people telling me how brave I am to go on solo adventures and suggesting that they can’t imagine feeling confident enough to do it themselves.

So, I’m here to dispel the myth that you have to be brave to do this. You absolutely do not. You just have to have a plan. And you have to be prepared to enjoy it more than you could imagine.

The joys of travelling on your own are that you can do exactly what you want to do at any given time.

If you want to sleep in one day, you can, without upsetting someone who wants to get up and about at sunrise. If you want to sit in a cafe watching the world go by for half the day, rather than traipse around a motorcycle museum, you absolutely can. If you want to eat baklava in bed instead of going out to dinner, oh boy, can you. You are utterly free to do whatever you want which is a very liberating feeling.

But similarly, if you are the sort of person who likes the company of other people, there are so many ways to achieve it, even when travelling solo. Small group tours have been an amazing way for me to connect with fellow like-minded people and have the safety of a tour leader with some inside knowledge, especially when I’m going to a place I’ve never been to before, or where there’s a significant language barrier.

When I’m not with a tour group, though, I like to seek out activities to keep me busy and to have the opportunity to meet and chat to other people. In Istanbul, I did a food tour where it turned out I was the only person on the tour, so I got a private experience where my guide took me to a bunch of her favourite spots and by the end of it, we felt like old friends. I also signed up for a perfume making workshop because, why not?

In Vietnam, I did a leatherwork class where I made my own coin purse, and a lantern making workshop. In a small town in Italy, I went on an ebike tour of the surrounding countryside.

In Florence, I learned how to appreciate aperitivo hour and in LA, I toured the Farmers Market with an enthusiastic woman named Jodie who loudly proclaimed to every vendor that “NATALIE’S ON THE RADIO” which was both mortifying and hilarious.

The reality is that if I was travelling with a group of friends, I never would have done any of these things because there’s no way we could have all agreed on any given activity.

Travelling solo forces you to try new things, to smile at strangers, to ask for directions, and to do whatever the hell you want. And I really, really like it.

Now excuse me, but I’m off to a Turkish bath house, because I can.



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Trekking Costa Rica's last wild frontier

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How Costa Rica is showing the world how to protect its wild places



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